This touched a tender and vulnerable place deep inside me and spoke to a deep, mostly unacknowledged place within. I have been tiptoeing and circling around these truths. Unwilling, unable to see what is consistently revealed. Thank you so much for sharing! You have written this so beautifully and eloquently. I appreciate your vulnerability in offering this out to the world. 🙏💗
Thank you for your own vulnerability in this reply. I know well the tiptoeing and circling that you shared you've been navigating. It is such a complex, nuanced and veiled experience, while at the same time being also so crystal clear.
We have so often been taught (consciously and unconsciously) to avoid conflict and keep the peace in situations like this, often at the detriment of our own well being. (These lessons were especially driven into anyone born into a female-bodied-life). But the second guessing, the "they didn't really mean it" self-convincing, the spiralling self-doubt, the "am I the bad guy here?" thoughts - all of these are signs from our bodies that they're not ok. I have experienced all of this by the way, right along with you and so many others.
One thing I can confirm, is that we get quiet and tune in to our bodies, all those uncomfortable truths that we've been unwilling and unable to see will naturally float to the surface. Our bodies don't lie, not when we really listen. In direct contradiction to that though, it's important to remember that we can (and often do) convince ourselves of anything, even when it's not true. I sometimes think that this is humanity's greatest gift and our most fatal flaw.
This also means something amazing though; that WE get to choose what to believe and what is true for US. WE get to decide how to respond and react to those truths and beliefs being tested and proven (or not) out in the world. WE get to live this life how WE want to live it. When this choice is backed by our bodies' full-blown YES, real magic happens.
Be gentle with yourself through this - it's not a easy process. I hope that you find grace in the journey and peace on the other side.
This touched a tender and vulnerable place deep inside me and spoke to a deep, mostly unacknowledged place within. I have been tiptoeing and circling around these truths. Unwilling, unable to see what is consistently revealed. Thank you so much for sharing! You have written this so beautifully and eloquently. I appreciate your vulnerability in offering this out to the world. 🙏💗
Sweet Alanah,
Thank you for your own vulnerability in this reply. I know well the tiptoeing and circling that you shared you've been navigating. It is such a complex, nuanced and veiled experience, while at the same time being also so crystal clear.
We have so often been taught (consciously and unconsciously) to avoid conflict and keep the peace in situations like this, often at the detriment of our own well being. (These lessons were especially driven into anyone born into a female-bodied-life). But the second guessing, the "they didn't really mean it" self-convincing, the spiralling self-doubt, the "am I the bad guy here?" thoughts - all of these are signs from our bodies that they're not ok. I have experienced all of this by the way, right along with you and so many others.
One thing I can confirm, is that we get quiet and tune in to our bodies, all those uncomfortable truths that we've been unwilling and unable to see will naturally float to the surface. Our bodies don't lie, not when we really listen. In direct contradiction to that though, it's important to remember that we can (and often do) convince ourselves of anything, even when it's not true. I sometimes think that this is humanity's greatest gift and our most fatal flaw.
This also means something amazing though; that WE get to choose what to believe and what is true for US. WE get to decide how to respond and react to those truths and beliefs being tested and proven (or not) out in the world. WE get to live this life how WE want to live it. When this choice is backed by our bodies' full-blown YES, real magic happens.
Be gentle with yourself through this - it's not a easy process. I hope that you find grace in the journey and peace on the other side.
xx